The Role of Forgiveness in Moderating Self-Acceptance and Self-Control among Adolescents of Divorced Parents

Fauziah Nadrotun Nisa Hidayat; Fuad Nashori

doi:10.18196/ijiep.v6i1.25717

Authors

Fauziah Nadrotun Nisa Hidayat Universitas Islam Indonesia
Fuad Nashori Universitas Islam Indonesia https://orcid.org/0000-0001-7826-3386

DOI:

https://doi.org/10.18196/ijiep.v6i1.25717

Keywords:

Forgiveness, Self-Acceptance, Self-Control, Adolescent, Divorced Parents

Abstract

Divorce is often viewed as a last resort for marital conflict resolution, yet it can lead to significant psychological effects on children, particularly in reducing self-control. This study aimed to examine the moderating role of forgiveness in the relationship between self-acceptance and self-control among adolescents with divorced parents. Two hundred fifteen (215) adolescents in Yogyakarta, Indonesia, were selected using non-probability quota sampling. Data were collected using the Brief Self-Control Scale (BSCS), Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivation (TRIM-18) for forgiveness, and Berger’s Self-Acceptance Scale. Moderation regression analysis was conducted using JAMOVI version 2.3.18. The results revealed a significant negative moderating effect of forgiveness: higher levels of forgiveness weakened the positive influence of self-acceptance on self-control. This finding challenges the conventional belief that forgiveness always enhances psychological adjustment. In certain cases, forgiveness—especially when driven by external expectations or unresolved emotions—may hinder internal self-regulation processes fostered by self-acceptance. Theoretically, this study contributes to the understanding of complex emotional dynamics in adolescents from divorced families. Practically, it suggests that mental health interventions should prioritize the development of authentic self-acceptance and emotional readiness before promoting forgiveness. Programs to support adolescents post-divorce should consider individual differences, the timing of forgiveness, and cultural contexts when designing effective psychological or educational intervention

References

Aguinis, H., Edwards, J. R., & Bradley, K. J. (2017). Improving our understanding of moderation and mediation in strategic management research. Organizational Research Methods, 20(4), 665-685. https://doi.org/10.1177/1094428115627498

Ain, N., Mansyur, A. Y., & Lukman. (2024). Pemaafan bagi anak broken home. ULIL ALBAB: Jurnal Ilmiah Multidisiplin, 3(8), 388–400. https://doi.org/10.56799/jim.v3i8.4361

Alamsyah, F. H., Uzra’, G. N. F., Rahmalia, I. D., & Rusdi, A. (2018). Kontrol diri pada individu yang orangtuanya bercerai ditinjau dari pemaafan dan religiusitas. Jurnal Ilmiah Psikologi Terapan, 6(2), 142–152. https://doi.org/10.22219/jipt.v6i2.5590

Aloia, L. S., & Pederson, J. (2021). Dispositional forgiveness in emerging adulthood: the influence of family verbal aggression, trait anger, and empathetic concern. Western Journal of Communication, 85(5), 675-691. https://doi.org/10.1080/10570314.2021.1961 014

Amajida, D., & Yassar, M. N. E. (2023). Adaptasi skala transgression related interpersonal motivations (TRIM 18) terhadap hubungan romantis pada dewasa awal. Jurnal Psikologi, 16(2), 242–256. https://doi.org/10.35760/psi.20

Andriani, N. R., Romli, M. E., & Arizone. (2020). The effect of self-control on self-acceptance of broken home students at sma negeri 10 palembang. Jurnal KOPASTA, 7(1), 47–52. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.33373/kop.v7i1.2116

Arifin, H. H., & Milla, M. N. (2020). Adaptasi dan properti psikometrik skala kontrol diri ringkas versi Indonesia. Jurnal Psikologi Sosial, 18(2), 179–195. https://doi.org/10.7454/jps.2020.18

Asmani, J. M. (2015). Pendidikan Berbasis Karakter: Konsep dan Implementasi. Yogyakarta: DIVA Press.

Astuti, W., & Marettih, A. K. E. (2018). Apakah pemaafan berkorelasi dengan psychological well-being pada remaja yang tinggal di panti asuhan? Jurnal Ilmu Perilaku, 2(1), 41–53. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.25077/jip.2.1.41-53.2018

Badan Pusat Statistika. (2023, November 02). Jumlah kasus perceraian berdasarkan jenisnya (2022). Retrieved from databoks: https://databoks.katadata.co.id/datapublish/2023/11/02/75-kasus-perceraian-di-indonesia-diajukan-pihak-istri

Bahri, S. (2022). Pendidikan akhlak anak dalam perspektif Imam Al-Ghazali. At-Tadzkir: Islamic Education Journal, 1(1), 23–41. https://doi.org/10.59373/attadzkir.v1i1.6

Balliet, D., Li, N. P., & Joireman, J. (2013). Relating trait self-control and forgiveness within prosocials and pro selfs: Compensatory versus synergistic models. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 101(5), 1090–1105. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024967

Bernard, M. E. (Ed.). (2013). The strength of self-acceptance: Theory, practice and research. Springer Science + Business Media. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-6806-6

Cleare, S., Gumley, A., & O'Connor, R. C. (2019). Self-compassion, self-forgiveness, suicidal ideation, and self-harm: A systematic review. Clinical psychology & psychotherapy, 26(5), 511–530. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.2372

De Ridder, D. T. D., Boer, B. J. D., Lugtig, P., Bakker, A. B., & Hooft, E. A. V. (2011). Not doing bad things is not equivalent to doing the right thing: Distinguishing between inhibitory and initiatory self-control. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(7), 1006–1011. http://10.1016/j.paid.2011.01.015/

Devina, N. A., & Murdiana, S. (2024). The relationship between self-acceptance and people pleaser in late adolescents who experienced parental divorce. International Journal of Society Reviews (INJOSER), 2(4), 1002–1010. https://doi.org/10.1234/injoser.v1i2.136

Divorce.com. (2023, April 12). Divorce Rate in the World. Retrieved from Divorce.com: https://divorce.com/blog/divorce-rates-in-the-world/

Dumondor, C. M., & Tjipto, S. (2023). Forgiveness as a moderator between perceived unfair treatment and anger with own children. Jurnal Psikologi, 50(2), 141. https://doi.org/10.22146/jpsi.82008

Enright, R. D. (2012). The Forgiving life: A pathway to overcoming resentment and creating a legacy of love. American Psychological Association.

Ferawati, F. & Rahmandani, A. (2020). Hubungan antara pemaafan diri dengan regulasi emosi pada anak didik lembaga pembinaan khusus anak (lpka) kelas I kutoarjo dan kelas ii yogyakarta. Jurnal Empati, 8(3), 82–88. https://doi.org/10.14710/empati.2019.26498

Firmansyah, D., & Dede. (2022). Teknik pengambilan sampel umum dalam metodologi penelitian: Literature review. Jurnal Ilmiah Pendidikan Holistik (JIPH), 1(2), 85–114. https://doi.org/10.55927/jiph.v1i2.937

García-Vázquez, F. I., Parra-Pérez, L. G., & Valdés-Cuervo, A. A. (2020). The effects of forgiveness, gratitude, and self-control on reactive and proactive aggression in bullying. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(16), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17165760

Ghahremanloo, M., Kiani, Q., & Yousefi-Afrashteh, M. (2022). Relationship between self-control and forgiveness with duration of marriage couples. International Journal of Behavioral Sciences, 16(3), 177-182. doi:10.30491/ijbs.2022.346485.1813

Hamama, L., & Ronen-Shenhav, A. (2012). Self-control, social support, and aggression among adolescents in divorced and two-parent families. Children and Youth Services Review, 34(5), 1042–1049. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2012.02.009

Hasan, A. B. P. (2013). Pemaafan sebagai variabel moderator pada pengaruh religiusitas dengan agresi relasional di kalangan mahasiswa universitas berbasis nilai-nilai islam. Jurnal Al-Azhar Indonesia Seri Humaniora, 2(1), 10–20. https://dx.doi.org/10.36722/sh.v2i1.113

Hidayat, M., Aseng, A. C., Tumbel, N. J., & Pandeirot, L. B. (2023). Sikap kontrol diri dengan perilaku konsumtif mahasiswa: studi empiris pada mahasiswa fkip universitas klabat. Jurnal Informatika Ekonomi Bisnis, 2, 403–408. https://doi.org/10.37034/infeb.v5i2.568

Hikmah, S. (2015). Mengobati luka anak korban perceraian melalui pemaafan. SAWWA, 10(2), 229–246. https://doi.org/10.21580/sa.v10i2.1433

Hook, J. N., Worthington, E. L., Utsey, S. O., Davis, D. E., & Burnette, J. L. (2012). Collectivistic self-construal and forgiveness. Counseling and Values, 57(1), 109-124. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.2161-007X.2012.00012.x

Huwae, A. (2021). Pemaafan pada penyintas kekerasan seksual dalam berpacaran ditinjau dari big-five personality. Jurnal Psikologi UIN Sultan Syarif Kasim, 17(1). 59-69, doi:10.24014/jp.v17i1.10900.

Islam, D. N., & Hidayat, A. (2023). Kesabaran terhadap self acceptance pada mahasiswa fakultas psikologi universitas islam riau. Psikobuletin:Buletin Ilmiah Psikologi, 4(3), 194–208. https://doi.org/10.24014/pib.v4i3.23822

Islami, A. C., & Fitriyani, H. (2022). Gambaran self-acceptance (Penerimaan Diri) pada remaja yang tinggal bersama orang tua tunggal Ibu. Insight: Jurnal Bimbingan Dan Konseling, 11(2), 135. https://doi.org/10.21009/INSIGHT.112.02

Kawitri, A. Z., Listiyandini, R. A., & Rahmatika, R. (2020). Peran self-compassion terhadap dimensi-dimensi kualitas hidup kesehatan pada remaja panti asuhan. Psympathic : Jurnal Ilmiah Psikologi, 7(1), 01–18. https://doi.org/10.15575/psy.v7i1.4406

Kong, F., Zhang, H., Xia, H., Huang, B., Qin, J., Zhang, Y., Sun, X., & Zhou, Z. (2020). Why do people with self-control forgive others easily? The role of rumination and anger. Frontiers in Psychology, 11(129), 1-6. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00129

Kristanti, E. D., & Indrijati, H. (2019). Hubungan kontrol diri dengan kecenderungan kenakalan remaja pada remaja dengan orang tua tunggal yang bercerai. Naskah Prosiding Temilnas XI IPPI, 206-2015. Departemen Psikologi Pendidikan dan Perkembangan, Fakultas Psikologi Universitas Airlangga.

Latifah, S., Adiwinata, A. H., & Nadirah, N. A. (2023). Penerimaan diri anak terhadap perceraian orang tua. Jurnal Kajian Gender Dan Anak, 7(1), 1. http://dx.doi.org/10.24952/gender.v7i1.6824

Lestari, D. W. (2014). Penerimaan diri dan strategi coping pada remaja korban perceraian orang tua. Psikoborneo, 1(4), 196–203. http://dx.doi.org/10.30872/psikoborneo.v1i4.3515

Lestari, T. W. T., & Huwae, A. (2023). Forgiveness and resilience: a case of adolescents with broken home divorce. Counsenesia Indonesian Journal Of Guidance and Counseling, 4(1), 8–21. https://doi.org/10.36728/cijgc.vi.2407

Liu, H., & Li, H. (2020). Self-control modulates the behavioral response of interpersonal forgiveness. Frontiers in Psychology, 11(472), 1–8. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00472

Liu, X., Lu, D., Zhou, L., & Su, L. (2013). Forgiveness as a moderator of the association between victimization and suicidal ideation. INDIAN PEDIATRICS, 50(7), 685–688. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13312-013-0191-0

Maharani, A., & Daulay, A. A. (2023). Exploring the influence of broken homes on children’s mindsets: a qualitative study. Counsenesia Indonesian Journal Of Guidance and Counseling, 4(1), 53–60. https://doi.org/10.36728/cijgc.vi.2530

Mansyur, S., & Casmini. (2022). Kontrol diri dalam perspektif Islam dan upaya peningkatannya melalui layanan bimbingan konseling islam. Jurnal At-Taujih Bimbingan Dan Konseling Islam, 5(2), 1. https://doi.org/https://jurnal.ar-raniry.ac.id/index.php/Taujih/article/view/15084/7617

Martha, K., & Kurniati, N. T. (2018). Efektivitas terapi pemaafan dengan model proses dari Enright untuk membantu remaja korban perceraian dalam memaafkan orang tua. Jurnal Psikologi, 11(1), 10-24. doi: http://dx.doi.org/10.35760/psi.2018.v11i1.2070

Masrura, Z., Julistia, R., & Hafnidar. (2023). Pemaafan dan penerimaan diri pada remaja di panti asuhan. Insight: Jurnal Penelitian Psikologi, 1(2), 178–193. https://doi.org/https://doi.org/10.2910/insight.v1i2.9575

Mccullough, M. E. (2000). Forgiveness as human strength: Theory, measurement, and links to well-being. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 1(1), 43–55. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.200.19.1.43

McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen, A. D. (2006). Writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression facilitates forgiveness. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(5), 887-97. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.74.5.887

Miyagawa, Y., & Taniguchi, J. (2022). Self-compassion helps people forgive transgressors: Cognitive pathways of interpersonal transgressions. Self and Identity, 21(2), 244–256. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2020.1862904

Nashori, F., Iskandar, T. Z., Setiono, K., Siswadi, A. G. P., & Andriansyah, Y. (2020). Religiosity, interpersonal attachment, and forgiveness among the Javanese population in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. Mental Health, Religion and Culture, 23(2), 99–112. https://doi.org/10.1080/13674676.2019.1646233.

Nasri, S. A., Nisa, H., & Karjuniwati. (2018). Bagaimana remaja memaafkan perceraian orang tuanya: Sebuah studi fenomenologis. Seurune, Jurnal Psikologi Unsyiah, 1(2), 102-120. https://doi.org/10.24815/s-jpu.v1i2.11574

Nihayah, U., Putri, S. A., & Hidayat, R. (2021). Konsep memaafkan dalam psikologi positif. Indonesian Journal of Counseling and Development, 3(2), 108-119. https://doi.org/10.32939/ijcd.v3i2.1031

Paramitha, R., & Margaretha. (2013). Pengaruh penerimaan diri terhadap penyesuaian diri penderita lupus. Jurnal Psikologi (Undip), 12(1), 92–99. https://doi.org/10.14710/jpu.12.1.1-8

Parwati, N., & Sugiharto, D. Y. P. (2022). Hubungan kontrol diri dan pengalaman mengikuti konseling kelompok terhadap penerimaan diri siswa di Sekolah Menengah Pertama. Bulletin of Counseling and Psychotherapy, 4(1), 195-203. https://doi.org/10.51214/bocp.v4i2.220

Praptomojati, A. (2018). Dinamika Psikologis Remaja Korban Perceraian: Sebuah Studi Kasus Kenakalan Remaja. Jurnal Ilmu Perilaku, 2(1), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.25077/jip.2.1.1-14.2018

Pratiwi, I. W., & Kimberly, C. (2019). Dinamika forgiveness pada anak korban perceraian. 13 JP3SDM, 8(2), 13–1. https://doi.org/10.37721/psi.v8i1.596

Pronk, T. M., Buyukcan-Tetik, A., Iliás, M. M. A. H., & Finkenauer, C. (2019). Marriage as a training ground: Examining change in self-control and forgiveness over the first 4 years of marriage. Journal of social and personal relationships, 36(1), 109–130. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407517721065

Purnawan, R. A. & Situmurang, N. Z. (2021). Peranan regulasi emosi, kontrol diri, penerimaan diri terhadap perilaku agresif siswa SMP di Yogyakarta. Jurnal Muara Ilmu Sosial, Humaniora, dan Seni, 5(1), 205-212. https://doi.org/10.24912/jmishumsen.v5i1.10777

Pusvitasari, P. & Jayanti, A. M. (2020). Pemaafan dan kebahagiaan pada lansia. Jurnal Psikologi Insight, 4(1), 73-83. https://doi.org/10.17509/insight.v4i1.24598

Rahadi, D. R. & Farid, M. M. (2021). Monograf Analisis Variabel Moderating. CV. Lentera Ilmu Mandiri.

Rahmadhony, S. (2020). Efektivitas pelatihan regulasi emosi untuk menurunkan perilaku bullying pada siswa smp. Analitika, 12(2), 169–178. https://doi.org/10.31289/analitika.v12i2.3733

Rahmandani, A. (2015). Pemaafan dan aspek kognitif dari stres pada mahasiswi jurusan kebidanan tingkat dua. Jurnal Psikologi, 14(2), 118-128. https://doi.org/10.14710/jpu.14.2.118-128

Rahmania, F. A., Hizbullah, K., Anisa, S. N., & Wahyuningsih, H. (2021). The effects of forgiveness and self-acceptance on the meaning of life in early adult individuals with divorced parents: Pengaruh pemaafan dan penerimaan diri terhadap makna hidup pada individu dewasa awal yang memiliki orang tua bercerai. Proceeding of Inter-Islamic University Conference on Psychology, 1(1), 1-8. https://doi.org/10.21070/iiucp.v1i1.612

Ramadani, D., Wahyuni, E., & Hidayat, D. R. (2022). Gambaran kritik diri (Self-criticism) pada mahasiswa. Jurnal Konseling Dan Pendidikan, 10(1), 185. https://doi.org/10.29210/176700

Raudatussalamah, R. & Susanti, R. (2014). Pemaafan (Forgiveness) dan psychological wellbeing pada narapidana wanita. Marwah: Jurnal Perempuan, Agama Dan Jender, XIII(2), 219–4. http://dx.doi.org/10.24014/marwah.v13i2.890

Safitri, A. M. (2017). Proses dan faktor yang mempengaruhi perilaku memaafkan pada remaja broken home. Psikoborneo, 5(1), 34–40. http://dx.doi.org/10.30872/psikoborneo.v5i1.4328

Sheerer, E. T. (1949). An analysis of the relationship between acceptance of and respect for self and acceptance of and respect for others in ten counseling cases. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 13(3), 169–175. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0062262

Suban, A. (2020). Konsep pendidikan Islam perspektif Al-Ghazali. Jurnal Idaarah, 4(1), 87–99. https://doi.org/10.24252/idaarah.v4i1.13760

Suputra, I. K. D., Rahayu, Y. P., & Dianovinina, K. (2021). Self-compassion dan kontrol diri pada anak didik yang melakukan tindakan kriminal. Jurnal Psikologi: Jurnal Ilmiah Fakultas Psikologi Universitas Yudharta Pasuruan, 8(2), 89–101. https://doi.org/10.35891/jip.v8i2.2521

Suud, F. M. & Na’imah, T. (2023). The effect of positive thinking training on academic stress of Muslim students in thesis writing: a quasi-experimental study. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 28(1), 2270051. https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2023.2270051

Tangney, J. P., Baumeister, R. F., & Boone, A. L. (2004). High self-control predicts good adjustment, less pathology, better grades, and interpersonal success. Journal of Personality, 72(2). https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0022-3506.2004.00263.x

Tarigan, L. H., & Hafni, M. (2022). Hubungan antara kontrol diri dengan perilaku agresif pada remaja di kelurahan padang bulan kota medan. Jouska: Jurnal Ilmiah Psikologi, 1(2), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.31289/jsa.v1i2.1342

Trianggono, A. A., & Yatim, D. I. (2020). Proses memaafkan dalam konteks agama islam pada remaja yang orang tuanya bercerai. INSAN Jurnal Psikologi Dan Kesehatan Mental, 5(2), 88. https://doi.org/10.20473/jpkm.v5i22020.88-111

Ukoli, J. M. J. ., Mandang, J. H. ., & Kaumbur, G. E. . (2020). Dinamika psikologis remaja awal korban perceraian orang tua yang melakukan kenakalan remaja di minahasa utara. PSIKOPEDIA, 1(1), 45-51. https://doi.org/10.53682/pj.v1i1.1751

Van der Wal, R. C., Levelt, L., Kluwer, E., & Finkenauer, C. (2024). Exploring associations between children’s forgiveness following parental divorce and psychological well-being. Family Transitions, 65(3), 248–270. https://doi.org/10.1080/28375300.2024.2310432

Worthington, E. L & Scherer, M. (2006). Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risk and promote health resilience: Theory, review, and hypotheses. Psychological Health, 19(3), 385-405. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/0887044042000196674

Worthington, E. L., Jr, van Oyen Witvliet, C., Lerner, A. J., & Scherer, M. (2005). Forgiveness in health research and medical practice. Explore (New York, N.Y.), 1(3), 169–176. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.explore.2005.02.012

Wulandari, R., Abdullah, S. M., & Budiyani, K. (2023). Pengaruh pelatihan forgiveness terhadap penurunan tingkat kemarahan remaja yang tinggal di panti asuhan. Jurnal Psikologi, 19(1), 1–7. https://ejournal.up45.ac.id/index.php/psikologi/article/view/1479

Yang, Q., Xu, Y., & van den Bos, K. (2024). Social network site use and materialistic values: the roles of self-control and self-acceptance. BMC Psychology, 12(55), 1–16. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-024-01546-7

Yanti, E., Khairulyadi, & Ikramatoun, S. (2023). Faktor penyebab perilaku menyimpang remaja (Studi kasus Gampong Seutui Kota Banda Aceh). Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa FISIP USK, 8(4), 1–10. https://doi.org/https://jim.usk.ac.id/FISIP/article/view/27702/13603

Zukriansyah, S. M. & Mangundjaya, W. L. (2024). Kesejahteraan psikologis sebagai salah satu prediktor kontrol diri pada remaja. EZRA SCIENCE BULLETIN, 2(2), 524–532. https://doi.org/10.58526/ez-sci-bin.v2i2.156

Zulfah, Z. (2021). Karakter: Pengendalian Diri. IQRA : Jurnal Pendidikan Agama Islam, 1(1), 28-33. https://journal.unismuh.ac.id/index.php/iqra/article/view/5803